Soul Care to Self-Love

By Hollie S. Chambers, LCSW

Coach & Counselor

According to Erik Erikson and his theory of human development, between the ages of 40 to 65, which is called “Generativity vs. Stagnation” or middle-aged, a person may experience nagging feelings of whether they contributed to the world. They may question their parenting; career choice, relationship choice, as well as question whether they have failed in these areas. During this stage of development people may make irrational/unhealthy decisions like buy a sports car they cannot afford or have an affair. Some may make more healthier decisions like seek counseling.

For me, my first thought was to escape and that’s exactly what I did. Not once but twice. The first time was when I turned 40. I felt unfulfilled, not living my purpose and incredibly unhappy without a logical reason. I was in great health. My children were in great health. We had a beautiful home. I had a well-paying job. But for some reason, I felt lost and questioned all my life choices. I could not articulate what I was feeling, nor did I feel safe with my own thoughts.

I made an impulsive decision to take a trip to a place I have always wanted to visit. I booked an eco-adventure to Costa Rica that included zip lining, horseback riding, white water rapids and exploring the rain forest. There was a lot of down time on buses, pontoons and hiking explorations and I could reflect on, and make sense of all the emotions I could not unravel at home with work, motherhood and other responsibilities distracting me. It was such a healing and memorable experience, that I realized, to maintain a positive mental state, I needed to book an adventure every year.

A couple of years later, I decided to run away from home to Bali, Indonesia. I was experiencing indecisiveness and loneness in my intimate relationship. At the time, I was contemplating a breakup. I was sad, yet excited to get away and think about my future.

My time in Bali allowed me to explore reasons why I was feeling so alone in my relationship in ways I could not at home. Between purification rituals at Tirta Empul Temple, visiting the elephant sanctuary, waterfalls, yoga classes, meditation, and Chakra aligning, the spiritual component helped me heal. I have traveled to numerous places and the comparison to all the trips was coming back feeling lighter, mentally and physically healthier.

What I learned is this, in addition to self-care, we should also add “soul care.” If it means running away to another country and having new adventures that allow you to heal, do it.

Consider joining Tina and I as we embark on a journey towards soul care this coming April 18- 24, 2020. Learn more HERE.